I would like to share with you some of insights I have come to as a holistic psychotherapist in my daily work and interactions with many of my clients from all ages. It’s about some of  the most important life advices I share with my clients. Advices to be followed if you want to think, feel and behave well. If you aspire to emotionally and mentally healthy, successful and happy life. Unfortunately, although most people are aware of these principles, many disregard them. What are my advices to everyone?

 Treat Others how You want to be treated

In my opinion, this is one of the most important rules in life. If you don’t like the way you’re treated, there’s only one course of action  – since you cannot change anyone else’s, change your own behaviour, because relationships function like a mirror, eventually that change will reflect back onto how you are treated. If we all treated others how we’d wish to be treated, the world would certainly be a much better place for us all.

 Make Time for People You Love

Putting off seeing your parents or siblings, because you think there are other more important things to do, might not seem like a big deal today. However, one day it will be and you will regret.

 Accept and Be Yourself

As you are with all your flaws and virtues – I met so many  people who deeply suffer inside themselves and actually feel miserable because they feel pressure to be something they’re not. These pressures can be exerted upon them from parents, co-workers, friends or even their significant others. I’ve met many young people who conform to their parents’ wishes to study something they hate, people going into careers they hate because it will make someone else happy, or women in a relationship with with men they do not love,  but love their social status and financial wellbeing. Hence, be yourself, because being somebody’s or something else will make you miserable whether you want to accept it or not.

 Know Your Worth 

It’s so important you to understand how valuable you are in this world. It’s about how you value yourself  regardless of what other people might say to you or think of you. When you get know your worth, you stop putting up with things that devalue you. It will also positively impact what you’ll put up with in relationships, in your jobs, and in life. Knowing your worth will protect you from a lot of life’s struggles providing you act consistently with it.

Who You Marry

The most important decision in your life you’ll ever make in your life has nothing to do with your career or financial status but who you marry. I was always laughing at my mother’s advice when I was a teen. Take this one enough seriously, because you’ll  literally have to see this person every day of your life. Hence, make it someone who shares the same values as you do – be it a trust, honesty, integrity, family values, self-improvement… Someone who will be always kind, uplifting, supportive and wonderfully fitting to your persona. In this respect, you will also have a financial future largely impacted by their spending habits, earning, saving ability, life style, etc. You may be aware of the fact that woman or man divorce, can devastate you emotionally and financially.

 Don’t Hastily Make Decisions When You’re Angry

I’ve met so many people relapse on bad habits and addictions, cheat on their spouses, get into physical fights, and quit their jobs simply because they were “angry.” Think carefully and never ever react or make decision when you are angry because it could cost you not only a lot of money, but also negatively impact your mental health and overall wellbeing.

 Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff 

It essentially means to not focus your energy on things that don’t hold significant importance in your life.  Let them go and move on, rather than letting them bother you. Choose your battles, and be able to let the little things go. Once you realize what “big things” are (serious mental illness, cancer,  loss of your loved one, financial hardship, etc.), you will wish you focused on the right things, but it may be too late.

 Moving on Rather Than Living Well is the Best Revenge

There are so many people get stuck in anger and grudges that can seriously mess up their own lives,  especially emotionally.  It’s true what a great say that “anger is something you carry for someone else’s mistakes”. Therefore, move on and leave those who have hurt you in the past. Forgive, live not in the past, take care of your own needs, and live well.

It’s  Perfectly OK Not Being or Felling Well and Ask for Help

You can’t imagine know how many of my clients and people I’ve talked to, that wished they would have gotten help earlier? It would have given them back ‘’years’’ of their life and prevented  or diminished the course of development of serious illness. However, instead they waited until they were at an absolute breaking point – losing their health, children, relationships, jobs, and other life opportunities.  Wait not too long and hesitate not asking for help.

The Best Time to Start is Today

Whether it concerns your relationships, family issue, your health or whatever, wait not – start today. Time gets away from us very quickly, and before you know it 20 years have passed and you didn’t do those things you wanted to do. I have seen a lot of people who hold regrets…try not to have them.

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear it!

 

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Mirella Rasic Paolini, Holistički terapeut